booksthatmatter: Cough

Friday, November 25, 2011

Cough

We are entering the period of coughs and sneezes, and, as Lady Magnon's been coughing her guts out over the last two weeks (it's NOT her above), I would like to offer my 'radical' theory about coughing.

As far as I can see (and I did fail my Medicine O level exam) there are two distinct types of cough. 1. The Spasmodic Cough. And 2. The Voluntary Cough.

The 'Spasmodic Cough' starts from scratch. You're standing still and the cough simply ERUPTS. There's nothing you can do to halt its progress.

The 'Voluntary Cough', however, begins with a deep intake of breath, which is then expelled in the process of a self-controlled, voluntary, cough.

My theory (which I practice myself) involves NEVER performing the Voluntary version. All it does is irritate the internal breathing kit, and prolong one's period of recovery. When I have a bad cough you would never know, simply because I DON'T COUGH. I suggest you do the same.

Lady M flies to London this evening, so anyone taking the early evening flight from S W France to Gatwick should go equipped with several face masks; she steadfastly (isn't that a nice word) refuses to adopt my simple formula.